Why would you want to date a strong independent woman? She’s fun, she’s feisty and she has a mind of her own. She knows how to take care of herself, the people around her and her life. She can match you on your level, inspire you to grow and she can contribute as well as she can receive. She knows and understands her worth and she has the self esteem to back it up. You can be satisfied in knowing that if she is with you, its by her choice. Because she wants to be with you, rather than because she feels she needs to be with you (the neediness and dependence is what causes most of the drama).
But what does a strong independent women really need to spark her interest and ignite her fire?
Match her on her level
Now strong and independent woman are used to doing a lot of everything on her own. She knows how to take care of herself and the people around her very well. In fact she may be “extremely comfortable” with the ease at which she feels she can manage her life. Therefore when you approach and interact with these women initially they can seem to have a “cool” disposition towards you. They may give you some challenging situations and conversations that are intended to put you off guard. And you can’t blame her for this, she is simply seeing if you are a guy that can handle her independence. She wants to know that you will encourage it, nurture it, rather than overrun it, or try to take it away from her.
Many men shy away from strong independent women for a number of reasons. The first is they don’t feel like they have anything to offer them (she seems to have it all together) and the second is that they don’t know how to handle her. You handle her by meeting her at the same level in which she challenges you!
It will be hard for you to create and maintain attraction with a strong and independent woman if you are not a strong and independent man. As you will not understand her sense of life. Her way of living. You will not see the world as she sees it and this will create conflict in the future. To really truly appreciate a strong and independent woman, you must also understand what it is like to be strong and independent. Because then the two of you have a foundation (a solid one) to build upon.
Just like two people with mismatched self-esteems will be unable to hold together a relationship, the same will happen if you do not experientially understand what it is like to be strong and independent. You will be a mere observer of her life, an outsider, rather than a person who truly understands her inside and out. And that’s what she needs.
When you know you are on the same level as this woman, than it is easy to pass her tests or challenges. Because you will know when to assert yourself as you will equally know when compassion and empathy are required. You will allow her to take the reins at certain times and you will know when she needs her space or a shoulder to lean on. You will be able to communicate with her in a way that develops a deeper understanding of herself, yourself and this relationship (whatever it may be) that you are forming.
Support and encourage instead of squashing her independence
Understand that strong and independent women are very comfortable with their own space. They have their own interests, their own friends, their own comforts, their own career, their own life. You cannot strip this away from them. And why would you? The best way you can encourage her independence is to support her goals short term and long term. Not in this cheerleader, “yay lets celebrate when it all goes well”, kind of thing. But suggest ideas, be a sounding board which can help her on her endeavors, be strong for her when she comes across a rough patch (and believe me, at times she will) and be invested in things that are important to her too.
Remember she is still a woman
Strong and independent means drama free and no BS right?
If when you ask this question you are wondering if there will be any emotional outbursts, if she is going to be rational most of the time and controlled in her emotions, then you have another thing coming. She is still a woman. And remember that women process and come to conclusions through a different way than men. She feels everything around her. She absorbs the energy of others. Even though she is strong and independent she will still need a safe place to fall. At times she will need to vent, to empty herself out of all these negative emotions and fill herself up with good positive yummy ones, which you can help her with. Remember she is still a woman. She is not just an attractive, overly emotional man.
Where does she need you? Well a woman can’t experience that masculine and grounding energy by herself. She needs that from you. You can be her rock and she can be the waves, tumbling all around you. And that is where she will feel the most at home. You can be that source which she constantly feels drawn to, time and time again.
Note for women: Don’t use this strong and independent personality as a cover for your insecurities about being in a relationship or false beliefs about men. This pushes men away as they do not know how they could possibly contribute to having any form of romantic sexual relationship with you.
Truly strong and independent women, have the ability to be vulnerable, accepting and transparent when required. They have the ability to ask a man when they are in need and to receive. They can also allow a man to assume the leadership position, without constant power plays and use of manipulative techniques to maintain control.