This is a letter sent anonymously through one of my social media accounts and I can’t help but publish this. Everything that’s written is like a lightning that hits me in the heart.
It took me a year to finally get your attention. It took me 4 months to finally have the courage to ask you out. It took me 3 months to ask if you can be my girlfriend but it only took me a month to keep it that way.
I didn’t hurt you and it was never my intention to hurt you. You were just hurt by the circumstances. You are that person whom I have been dreaming to have, whom I have been dreaming to be with but I was a coward to fight for you. I regret the fact that instead of fighting for what we have, I fought with you.
You have reminded me how it was like to be loved. You have reminded me how wonderful the feeling is when you are with the person you love who loves you back. You have made me feel really special to the point that I became so confident that you’re mine and failed to take care of what we have. I have failed you and now I am once again a stranger to you.
I knew you were that person that got away because I know, we were separated by circumstances and not because one of us cheated. Because you are still that person I think about at night. You are still that person I keep on seeing my future with. The kind of love I had with you is different. It felt so right.
You are that person who understood all the bad things that had happened in my life and never judged me. You are that person who allowed me to live my life again after being in the darkness for years. You fixed me. You rescued me from myself. You simply are that great but I failed to see that because I always think of myself, my own happiness. I knew you loved me and because of loving me too much, I can see you get emotionally hurt because of me but you never gave up. You have always been there for me but I had to give you up because you are becoming a victim of my own messy life. I loved you, I still do and I forever will.
When I told you I don’t love you anymore, I lied. I loved you so much and it breaks my heart to see you in tears and walk away. I can see that you’re happy now. I can see how you rise after every fall. I can see how positive your outlook in life is. And I regret that I will never be a part of your happiness anymore.
The greatest lie that I have said in my life was when I said I don’t love you anymore. You might never know how much my decision hurt me. How much tears I have spilled that I had to go back to the darkness and embrace the fucked up life I had before I met you.
I wish circumstances would have been different. I wish life will give me one more chance to be with you. I wish by then I’d be brave but as what you have kept on telling me when you’re trying to lift me up, opportunities come only once. You are that wonderful opportunity that I missed it. I had the chance but I wasted it.
You are life’s greatest lesson to me. You could’ve been the most wonderful gift life has given me but my own actions made you a lesson instead.